Demian Tempres' Biography

Name: Demian Tempres

Height: 1.92 meters

Weight: 63 kg

Hair: Dark Brown, .9cm long

Eyes: Feline-like, Brown

Position: Chief Engineer

Physical Age: 33 earth years (estimated)

Technical Age: Birthdate Unknown

Sex: Male

Racial Background : Seemingly human in all appearance except the eyes, yet DNA contains strands of Klingon, Vulcan, Xrextian, Aroelisian, Romulan, and many other distinct races. Also contains some very small inactive devices of seemingly Borg origin. Also contains many strands of DNA that are very distinct from each other, yet still unidentified. This is only within the DNA of the subject, yet these races do not manifest in his appearance.

Word-of-mouth sources claim that he has testified to being the result of an accident involving a few hundred crazed scientists, a wormhole linking into itself, a cat with warp drives, a bottle of Drakeniar Dark Matter Gin (Note: Drakeniar civilization not yet discovered), and a copy of an 800 year old AOL 6.0 CD.

Starfleet Background : Exact background before Starfleet employment unknown, all data from word-of-mouth sources. Graduated from Starfleet Academy on June 8, 2400, yet no records have been found to attest his being a cadet. Some present at the graduation ceremony claim they just saw him appear on the odium in full graduation dress, yet the presence of his diploma still remains unexplained. Admitted into Starfleet due to insufficient proof to remove diploma.

First assigned to the USS Gauntlet. Promoted to Chief Engineer when he prevented a total implosion of the ship by totally shutting down all systems, then restarting them all. Demoted to Assistant Engineer when he presumably applied the same technique to the entire ship due to a replicator error, thus shutting down the anti-matter containment fields. (Note: his room was the only one that survived the destruction of the ship) Assigned to the USS Baja. Demoted to Last Resort Assistant Engineer when he presumably modified the weapons systems on his ship, thus resulting in the destruction of an attacking enemy Freckitian cruiser, and also in the destruction of the planet housing a First Contact civilization right behind the attacking Freckitian ship. Those present at the event claim that he said: "Damn Energizer batteries! Next time, I'll use Duracell!" Transferred to the USS Italia shortly after witnesses claim he used Duracell batteries (Note: presumed cause of the Tau Ceti Supernova) (2nd Note: all crew of USS Baja was found dead 42 days after his transferal, cause unknown). Promoted to Chief Engineer when he modified the teleporter on the ship so that it would beam anything anywhere specified within a radius of 500 light-years (method unknown). The USS Italia was found drifting 1 month later, empty of all crew except him, and filled with chocolate bar wrappers. The teleporter was completely unserviceable. Taken to Earth for paid shore leave of undetermined length. Transferred to the USS Freedom when Australia was found missing for 2 weeks after he went to visit it.

Note to future Captains/Commanders/People within 10 light-years of him: Subject seems to have wild mood spans, is known to end up with the most unusual objects in his hands, and brings trouble anywhere he goes. Is very obsessive on the smallest details, yet often overlooks the most obvous and major flaws. Is known to laugh at the most horrible and terrible disasters, claiming he "knew it all along". Claims to be several historical figures, i.e. Hammurabi, Copernicus, Nero, Galileo, the entire English Monarchy, Mussolini, Fermi, Nixon, Bush, Kirk, etc. Although all above mentioned disasters seem to be associated to him, no direct proof exists, so always keep an eye on him and record anything he does.

Click Here for Demian Tempres' Logs

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